Archive for the ‘South-Africa 2010’ Category
|Easy Exile
Friday, January 22nd, 2010
Doug came to visit with his pet Burmese Python
The awesome thing about leaving your own country is that you can reinvent yourself thanks to the anonymity the new country provides. I think this was one of the best things I liked about living in the UK because, where I live in SA, people know me and worse yet, they know about me. The bad thing about this is that it makes it bloody hard for you to change yourself because people naturally want other people to fail. I think this is why the human race is such a successful species.
Hang on, I wanted to make a quick post about going back to the UK.
Her Majesty’s Home Office has deemed me fit to return and I’ll be heading for the Mud Island this coming Wednesday the 27th of January. I’ll lie if I said I didn’t enjoy my stay in South-Africa, even if all my time spent this month has been to catch up with friends, family and sorting out loads of crap that’s accumulated the past three and a half years in my absence. Highlights have certainly been trivial things like breaking all kinds of minor traffic laws thanks to the great lack of enforcement people enjoy in this country, being constipated from the masses of meat my diet consisted of, spending time with my Dads, the awesome weather and playing with our dogs every day.
Right, I’m off to sort more shit and see more friends whom I’ve neglected in my exile, then I’m heading back home, to the UK………
Stephan came to visit with his beautiful daughter
Tags: constipation, exile, head office, i love the queen, law enforecment
Posted in South-Africa 2010 | 1 Comment »
Freestate Dad
Friday, January 15th, 2010
My wife and I went to visit my Dad last weekend, something I’ve been looking forward to for over 3 years.
His treat was to take us to a place close to Lesoto called Clarens a little art village surrounded by Massive sandstone mountains. It was magical and we spent our time catching up, exploring gallery’s taking a multitude of photographs, gorging herds of meat and relaxing incredibly hard at the Maluti Mountian Lodge.
Clarens is the kind of place that makes you believe you can be an artist and the nearby Golden Gate mountains laugh at you for thinking you are so significant in the great scheme of things.
It’s not all art and inner reflection though, I spotted a little bike shop lacking a sign as we went to stock up on a couple of beers. The only reason I spotted it was because there was a bike with a funk ass retro colour design in the doorway, half sticking out. I popped in and immediately liked Andy who was mulling deep in concentration over a bike design or something other. The shop is called Redneck Customs and they even hire out low pro Cruiser bicycles. You can call Andy on 0027 824736545 or email him: andycaveclarens@gmail.com. There are loads to do in Clarens besides being an Art browser or Bike poser, like Flyfishing, Rock painting, River rafting, Horse Riding, Quad biking, Paintballing and Hot air balooning.
If you visit South-Africa for the 2010 Football I strongly suggest you take a detour to Clarens, that is, if the deep potholes on your way there don’t kill you first.
Tags: art gallery, bike trip, clarens, Drakensberg, Goldengate, Hot air balooning, Lesoto, Marlutti Mountain lodge, paintballing, ramble, Redneck Customs, Sasolburg, Vaalpark
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Cat murder
Friday, January 8th, 2010
Sunset in the African bushveld
I made it to SA and had 4 hours sleep when my step Dad woke me to propose we hit the bushveld for 3 days. Usually that’s not an issue for me, but having 6 parents makes things tricky, particularly if you haven’t seen them for over 3 and a half years. I figured I needed to debrief from the UK so I went a long and we headed for Naboomspruit, named after it’s abundance of highly poisonous and interesting Naboom tree in the Northern parts of South-Africa. It was gloriously warm with temperatures pushing past 30 degrees celcius every day. The heat didn’t deter the wild animals we saw in the neighboring camp and I hold a fond memory of my Step dad driving with his 4×4 Nissan Sani through the bush with a full glass of whiskey and spilling it all over himself as he navigated the bush roads.
The potholes on the roads here are larger than I remembered them and we narrowly avoided a collision with oncoming traffic trying to dodge a cauldron sized pothole. I think this is why it seems like 80% of road users own 4×4’s. Other things I’ve noticed is the huge gap that exists between those that have and those that don’t have, something I grew immune to before I left for the UK. It’s heart breaking and frankly, I’d be a criminal too if I had to live like some of the South-African people are forced to live here.
3 days ago, I went walking with my Mother in-laws dogs on their small holding and got a fright when one of the larger dogs, Ntsiki, sped away in a madden frenzy after something towards the shed. I now know the full extent of the term “ape-shit” when I saw Ntsiki trying to make her way towards the back of a fully packed shed after the creature. All her attention was directed towards a half full lawnmower bucket and I was forced to watch from the side of the shed through the wired fence. In the crazy 10 seconds that followed I thought she was after a snake or a skunk as she repeatedly retreated and attacked with her head ducking in and out of the lawn mower bucket followed by some yelps of pain. When Ntsiki next pulled her head out, it had a furious cat attached to her face. At the time I thought it wasn’t so bad since it wasn’t a snake ( we’ve lost dogs to the popular Rinkhals snakes who seems to thrive in the area ) but a few seconds later the dogs stopped being crazy and I managed to get them out of the shed. Poor wild cat. Almost eaten in half as it gave it’s last nervous system convulsions.
I buried it close to one of my favorite dogs.
WARNING:
Some images in this gallery is not suitable for sensitive viewers
2 days later with the murdered wild cat still fresh in my mind I thought I imagined hearing kittens. Upon investigation (and a lot of work keeping the dogs at bay) I found 3 kittens barely 5 days old meeoing their tiny little heads off. Shame, poor things didn’t know the half of it I thought as I organized some straws and reduced milk to force feed them and nurture them. If I had tits, I’d have gladly let them suckle on them. The next day, I took them to the SPCA for fear that the dogs would eventually chow them too if my in-laws were to keep them, something they considered because they were bloody beautiful and incredibly cute. I felt like a shit if I’m honest and the donation we gave didn’t do anything for the feeling of abandonment I was suffering but would you believe it, it turned out that they had a wild cat in the back that had 2 week old kittens running around like crazy. When the girl put the 3 orphans close to her, the rocketed like barracuda to her teets and went deadly silent as she let them suckle. I feel tears well up as I’m writing this and I’m thankful that I have never before been forced to deal with the issue of adoption.
This episode with the dog that killed the cat and her orphan kittens that got left behind brought up some strange reminders about my previous years in SA.
Ok, I’m off to see my Dad for the next 4 days and uber excited to learn that he is taking us to an art town nestled in the the Drakensberg mountains called Clarens. Bet your fur ball I’ll get some images for you 
Pool side service is pretty good here
Tags: clarens, constantia, dog killed cat, gauteng, kittens, krugersdorp, mpumalanga, naboomspruit, oaktree, potholes, South-Africa 2010, wild cat
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Invictus 2009
Monday, January 4th, 2010
Invictus, the story of Nelson Mandela post 1994
Invictus is already showing in South-Africa and I went to watch it. It’s only being released in the UK on the 5th of February, just in time to keep the memory of the film fresh in the minds of those who bought tickets for the 2010 Football Wold Cup hosted in South Africa. (Throughout the local SA media they are urging locals to buy tickets for matches so if you have’nt got one yet, now’s your chance)
Before I tell you what I thought of the film, let me make one thing very clear,
I am not a patriot, in fact, it has been said that I paint a grim picture of the place I was born in. I am so strong in some of my opinions that I chose pay the price of being an immigrant for the rest of my life and have paid a lot of money, personal onslaughts from family and friends just to stay out of South-Africa. That said, I liked the film.
Briefly, the film is about President Nelson Mandela and the turmoil which followed the 1994 elections with emphasis placed on the massive influence rugby had on uniting a nation hell bent on killing each other.
It’s a pity that they had to use American actors for the leading roles. Sure, Morgan Freeman who plays the President slips on the accent but after hearing Leonardo Di Caprio’s accent in Blood Diamond, I’ll forgive him for it. Besides, Morgan Freeman is so synonymous with jail thanks to Shawshank redemption that the viewer can convincingly imagine him suffering and sticking it out in prison.
Matt Damon plays Franscious Pienaar, the Springbok South-African rugby captain who tries to help the President with his vision of not only winning the 1995 rugby world cup, but also to nudge the black population of the country to shed their hunger for vengeance and forgive their previous white oppressors.
I couldn’t help but relive some of the moments they portray in the film, it’s very convincing and true to events, even though I was only 13 at the time these events took place. It was great to see some old SA actors and hear the music of Johnny Clegg, one of my favourite SA musicians. There’s even some footage of the Soweto String Quartet performing!
There are loads of emotions you are forced to deal with whilst watching this film and sometimes you have to remind yourself that the stuff you see actually happened. If I’m honest, I’d say the final match in the film was more exciting and memorable.
The only downer on the film is a personal one because I hate to see what was envisioned by Mandela and how it actually panned out. The current state of South-Africa today is a violent, corrupt and uncertain one, not just for the whites and I somehow feel like we have all let Madiba down. Sadly, I also don’t think it’s a popular film amongst many South-Africans.
If you ever wondered why Saffas ( expat for South-Africans ) love rugby, watch this film or, better yet, if you are the current President of South-Africa, watch this film to try and understand the vision Madiba had for SA. Now I can’t help but wonder if Football would’ve united this nation like Rugby did back in 1995.
Tags: afrikaner, appartheid, elections, Football 2010, invictus 2009, invictus film review, Jaluka, Johnny Clegg, madiba, Matt Damon, Morgan Freeman, Nelson Mandela, politics, racism, robben island, shawshank redemption, Soccer, Soweto String Quartet, Wolrld Cup
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SA after 3 and a half years
Tuesday, December 1st, 2009
looking forward to it YARRR!
If I didn’t move to the UK in 2004, I’d probably be dead and divorced by now.
When my skinny feet hit London Heathrow that day in June my life expectancy increased into something I could only describe as tangible inside me, even though I was hung over from the 3 stumpy Stella Artois that didn’t mix with my low blood pressure during the flight. Fast forward 5 years, 6 months and bet your ass, it feels like I’ve come to within an inch of running on empty.
Having to go back to South-Africa is like suspecting you have Colon cancer. You know it’s only a matter of time, but you don’t know what to expect and crying over it won’t help so although I have nothing to return to, nor anything to look forward to, I’m going to get the fuck up, and try to rebuild my life over there. Unless my plan and the efforts of many work and we make it back to the UK somewhere in the spring of 2010
While I’m there, I figure I’ll document my debriefing from a 1st to 3rd world developing country and take you on a virtual tour of my valley. I pan on taking pictures of the things people don’t get to see about SA, I plan to write about things the media can’t be bothered to publish because Katie Price left her cross dressing boyfriend and that sells better than the everyday horrors normal families have to live through. You can trust me when I say, I will go out of my way to find the good things about South-Africa too.
Wish me luck.
ps. Happy birthday DAD!
Tags: 2010, expat, Heathrow, immigrate, Julius Malema, Katie Price, resession, South-Africa 2010, stella
Posted in South-Africa 2010 | 2 Comments »